Bêêêh – an ode to goats

As far as I can remember, I’ve always loved goats. When as a kid at school we were talking about our favorite animals, while others were mentioning ponies, dolphins, or dogs, I was proudly walking around with my plushy goat. She had a name: Biquette – one of the various French words that mean baby goat, but also a way of saying cute in Switzerland. Biquette was my favorite plushie – I had a total of 17, the girl had some competition – but not because she was particularly soft or comforting, simply because she was A GOAT.

Goats are undeniably the best animal ever. They are cute, VERY cute. They sound adorable. And when they give you little licks on your hand, you cannot help but melt. As they are very sociable and have a strong herd mentality, goats will always bond with you and give you comfort and affection. Honestly, if you’ve ever been disappointed by lovers, try adopting a goat instead: you will feel so much better.

Goats are just incredible and they do not even come in a single type. According to a very reliable source that we are unfortunately not allowed to cite in our essays – I’m talking about Wikipedia – goats come in over 300 breeds. And, fun fact to brag at fancy dinners: the wild goat, or Capra aegagrus, from which the domestic goat descends, has been around since the Pleistocene – i.e., the first goats probably walked Earth at the same time as the last mammoths, isn’t this fascinating??

Humans officially domesticated the goat for its milk, fur, and meat, but I’d like to believe people just needed a bit of cuteness in their lives. Honestly, who looks at a wild goat and does not want one as a pet? Have you ever seen a baby wild goat? That shit is one of the most adorable things out there – as you can see on the attached image taken from Wikipedia.

In Christian symbolism, goats are associated with Satan and hell. I would personally associate them more to goddesses than the devil. I mean, how could such cuties be mean? The only things they do all day are bêêêh-ing, eating grass and being adorable.

If you did not get it, I love goats very much. And if you don’t love them as well, what the fuck is wrong with you?

To conclude on a very wise stance: a grandpa once said “if you have a lot of problems in your life, adopt a goat and all of your problems will be way smaller by comparison.” I must disagree with this statement. The day I will have a goat – because one day I will – all of my problems will be smaller; not because the goat will be an inconvenience, simply because she will be cute and bring me happiness.

Lu, a goat-lover