I Will Not Burnout

Dear No One,

I will not burnout this year.

It has only been a week since the start of my third year, and to be honest, I already see burnout on the horizon. I already see its shadowy figure. I already feel its presence. I already sense defeat. 

It has been a busy week. While I am really grateful for all the opportunities I have this year, and overall I am optimistic that I am going to have an enjoyable and fulfilling year, I fear burnout is already near.

I am not drowning, but I am doggy paddling, and the waves are not calming any time soon.

But this year it will be different. I will not ignore the signs. I have set some rules to avoid it. I will not burnout this year.

This year, I will choose to not be perfect.

I have a lot to do, and I often put it off out of fear I will disappoint. What if I disappoint my friends, what if I disappoint my tutors, or what if I disappoint myself. I am afraid to not be perfect, but this year I will choose to not be. I will simply choose to not be perfect, and learn to be okay with it.

This year, I will choose to take things one step at a time.

I like to make lists. And sometimes, those lists become so long that I begin to panic. What if I can’t finish my list this week? What if something goes wrong? Or what if the tasks are too hard. I am afraid that I won’t finish everything, but this year I will choose not to be. I will simply choose to take each email, each reading, each task, one step at a time.

This year, I will be honest about my abilities.

I tend to not ask for help. And I never want to be a burden, and ask for help. What if I can actually do it? What if I am annoying others by asking for help? Or what if I’m just secretly being lazy? I am afraid to ask for help, but this year I will choose not to be. I will simply be honest about my abilities, and ask for help when needed.

This year, I will notice and stop my destructive patterns.

I recognize my patterns. I have a lot of “what ifs…”. I have a lot of fears. But this year it will be different, I will choose to change, and this year I will not burnout.

Lots of Love,

Lelani 

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