All is the same as it was before.
Returning home, after spending months in a country I have only once visited should have brought a new perspective into my life. But it did not. On my flight back home I reckoned that if life has taken a turn, it will be now that I will become aware of it. Despite knowing how things do not take such fast turns, I believed that this is the time for it. If my new experiences are to bring me fresh perspectives, only now am I going to be aware. But I saw no changes.
Family is just the same as it was before. The problems have not changed, the goals have not changed, and thoughts have not changed. Sitting with them by the dinner table, I wonder how all of this is possible. If life is seen as something in motion, an always-changing entity, how so do they seem still, so unchanged by time?
Not only is it my family, which has not altered, but also my group of friends. Although everyone has sought different paths in life for themselves, their characters radiate the same attitude as they did before. One is motivated but does not see how his day escapes from his hands. The other is always up to doing something fun but is not aware of the naivety he approaches conflicts with. All of them have stayed the same. And maybe they are not the only ones.
Life does change, but it is us who always stay constant. It is what we call “us” that puts on the lenses needed to understand what is happening around us. Referring to us, we constrain ourselves to imagined boundaries, our personality. Although we have personal traits that others are aware of, this clear idea of me being “me” is simply false. But only by giving in to the human need of simplifying life, can we continue on looking for meaning in “us”. Only if we believe that the world stays the same, can we comprehend our lives as reasonable. This continuity enables our minds to block out the reality of purposelessness, the truth that we exist for nothing.
Life has not changed and people stay the same. Most importantly, it is only the idea of “us” that wanders through time, hoping it has a goal. If you found the will to fight for that imaginary goal, good luck, if not, you lost this round.
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